I grew up, fear introduced itself and I began to loose my ability to believe…
The only thing that will ever be consistent in our lives is change, So why do we fear it so much? Right back from when I can remember I was dancing around my living room to my pretend audiences, having my friends over to make up dance routines to perform to our families and even the entire high school assembly ( yes we actually did that). Then I grew up, fear introduced itself and I begin to loose my ability to believe.
I began my Dance studies at the age of 19, I was accepted into a Dance Academy in Melbourne Victoria where I completed two and a half years of full-time accredited dance training. In the first six months I was the first student ever to be bumped up the Diploma class. I walked away with a scholarship, agency representation, I was awarded the highest student of my year and landed my very first role as swing, in the Musical Chicago.
I was flying until Anxiety took over, fear directed my life for quite sometime but then I realised the only way through this was to face my projective behaviour.
I returned home again.
I walked around for another year wondering what it was I was meant to be doing with my life, before I knew it I had a new agent who believed in me and was about to get me past this horrible event that I was still carrying around with me. The first thing my agent asked me was why I am still in Perth? when there is so much more work in Melbourne and Sydney. ( thinking back now, I realise that the work that I needed was to heal and work on myself). I had mentioned what had happened and why I came home. She made a call to the director to find out exactly what was said. The agent took me under her wing for as long as she could and was a wonderful part of my journey to getting back on track. I couldn't bring myself to mention to my agent or the casting director about the surgery. Turns out that conversation never happened, was made up and this casting director did remember me and thought I was a wonderful performer.
I would like to point out that we all have choices in this life, and what I chose to do was my decision. I do not blame or hold any resentment because of it. I just made a promise to myself from that day forward that I would never let anyone take my power away from me like that again.You don't ever have to change who you are for anybody.
After being accepted into one of hollywoods best acting programmes. I began to figure it all out. I was always so far ahead of myself trying to get to the next step before I had competed the one I was still on. I was impatient, fearful of missing out and I so worried about the destination I wasn't allowing myself to enjoy the journey which in turn was going to give me the tools I needed to get me to that place I was so desperate to get to. This is where I was meant to be and where I was always going to end up, However without those moments of impact that I had along the way I wouldn't of had all the life experiences I needed to bring with me. I had to experience life, I had to allow myself to grow in my own time and learn how to just be in the moment. I wasn't living my life and allowing its natural flow to take place. I wasn't trusting my own ability to get me there and I wasn't letting go and allowing flow. (You can't build a brick house without the bricks). Tools is what I was missing. LA taught me so much and I was so ready for it. Lilly Dawson has created an amazing programme for Actors, Singers, Models, Presenters you name it Lilly does it. The Programme is jam packed with some amazing workshops and long days with LA's finest Actors, Mentors, Lecturers and life coaches. Anything and everything you can think of Lilly has it in her programme. I walked away from Hollywood Immerse as a more confident actor with skills that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.
We are forever learning, forever growing and forever changing. Due to all of these moments of impact for the first time in my life I can confidently say that I'am proud of who and what I'am and I wouldn't change any of these moment or people who have come into my life as they have brought me to this amazing place that I am now in. There is no such thing as perfection in this life and we will never be perfect, but we will be unique and that is so much bigger and better!.
Everything happens in the perfect time space for you and everyone who comes into your life is there to teach you something. Have faith, have patience and in time you will to discover that who you are is and always will be enough.
Skip forward 7 years and I now reside in Beautiful BC. Please Join me on the next chapter. LOVE & LIGHT